I Pity Da' Fool!!!!

"I pity da' fool that whack my mailbox!"

Here's a great chance for me to rant online! Alright! Here goes!

My mailbox got whacked about a month ago by someone in the neighborhood (not someone under my roof either). I heard it when it happened. Let's just say it was very LOUD and obvious something wrong had happened. The person responsible was very nice. They didn't drive away and immediately offered to replace it and install the new one. That afternoon I was the proud owner of a shiny new mailbox. No worries!

This morning...to my horror...my shiny mailbox had been whacked again during the night. This time from the opposite direction, so my prime suspect was not a candidate this time. Whoever did it probably has some major damage to their right side. There is a tire mark on my sidewalk and they managed to shear off a decorative part of the post. This thing is made of iron, so it took quite a whack to shear that part off!

Of course no note or explanation from the offenda who perp'd da' crime...Slap my fro! My initial reaction was that "I'll fix this...".

Much to my chagrin, I was met with scepticism. A meeting between Wendy, the across the street neighbor, and the person responsible for last month's whack job only inflamed the skepitcism and negativity. "It is impossible to fix!" was the refrain I heard all day.

Another tid-bit from that meeting. The across the street neighbor told Wendy that our mailbox had been whacked by a friend of our neighbors when she left their house. This was when the previous owners of our place were still living here. So that's three whacks on one mail box...

With all the negative waves and comments, I was undeterred. In fact, I got defiant...

Did the Wright brothers go back to building bicycles when the negative comments hit??? NO!

Did Lindbergh stay in the USA when the doubters said he wouldn't make it to Paris??? NO!

Did Wernher von Braun switch to knitting instead of building moon rockets???

NO!!! He built ROCKETS!!!?!?!!?

Orville, Wilbur, Charles, Wernher, and Vladimir all say to Jason: "GO THE DISTANCE DUDE! FIX THE MAILBOX!"

So I fixed that mailbox tonight. I beat it, whacked it, reformed and shaped it. The attachments on the pole were toast -- sheared off completely -- so I improvised another way to mount that sucka' to the pole. What it is! It is good as new. Works just like it did before last night.

If misfortune strikes again I am ready with a plan...Next time I'll add a second box for the newspaper. We don't take the newspaper so I'll fill that sucka' with concrete. Try whackin' me sucka!!!! I PITY DA FOOL!!!!!!

I didn't have much help with this...But ever present Chucky was on the scene. Here's my good pal ready to help me fix the mailbox...


Thanks for letting me vent...Move along now! Nothing to see here...